Take it S.L.O.W in your marriage

We're all like hamsters on a caffeine high, juggling a circus of commitments and demands. Society's got us sprinting through life like we're auditioning for the Fast and the Furious: Life Edition. Let's face it, we're living in the age of "I want it yesterday" and "fix it in five minutes." This speed-demon lifestyle has thrown a wrench into marriages, with couples thinking they can fast-track happiness like it's a microwave dinner. Many couples who visit my office are hoping therapy will be their express lane to bliss. But if they don't learn to hit the brakes on their negative cycles, they'll be swept away in a never-ending tornado of doom and gloom.

This is why I propose the SLOW model to my coupes.

First up, 'S' stands for Seek the Kingdom/Safety first. What does this mean for your relationship? It's about prioritizing God in your marriage. When you place Him at the center, His wisdom and guidance will shape your decisions and interactions with your spouse. Seeking the Kingdom first involves seeking God's will through prayer, studying His Word, and being open to His leading in your relationship. The S also stands for safety. Prioritizing physical and emotional safety is of utmost importance. Without safety there is no real connection in the relationship.

Next, 'L' reminds us to Let go of unrealistic expectations. It's easy to fall into the trap of expecting our spouses to fulfill all our needs and make us happy. However, no one is perfect, and unrealistic expectations only lead to disappointment and frustration. By letting go of these unrealistic standards and accepting your spouse for who they are, you create space for grace, understanding, and genuine connection in your marriage.

Moving on to 'O', which stands for Open your heart to the truth. This step emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and communication in marriage. Opening your heart to the truth means being honest with yourself, your spouse, and God. It's about sharing your thoughts, feelings, and struggles openly, without fear of judgment. When both partners are willing to be authentic and transparent, trust deepens, and intimacy flourishes in the relationship.

Lastly, 'W' stands for Walk in your Identity in Christ. Walking in your identity in Christ means living out the truth of who God says you are: loved, chosen, forgiven, and created with purpose. This identity is not rooted in performance, accomplishments, or others' opinions but in the unchanging love and grace of God through Jesus Christ. When you embrace this identity, it transforms the way you view yourself and others, including your spouse.

In marriage, walking in your identity in Christ allows you to love from a place of security rather than seeking validation or worth from your partner. It encourages humility, patience, and forgiveness, as you recognize your own need for grace and extend it to your spouse. This foundation fosters a relationship built on mutual respect, sacrificial love, and a shared commitment to grow together in Christ. By keeping your identity grounded in Him, you can navigate challenges with unity, maintain a servant-hearted mindset, and reflect God's unconditional love in your marriage.